Hi, Gwammaw Pookie. I is Odie.

I’s in a cheewful mood and wanna wite you a wetter cause I wuvs you. I thinked you might wike to ‘ear about a day in the wife of Odie. (Hang on one moment, I sees something shiny that I needs to stare at…).

O-tay, I’s back. Pa sometimes gives me a bottle while he’s havin his quiet time before he goes off to work.

Then I wikes to sweep in wif the Ma-kweetur. I wikes best to sweep thnuggled up cwose and warm and to have a boobie wiffin easy weach. We gets out of bed when we ‘ear Merchie wampaging about and the ‘ouse stawts to shake. Mostwy I’s afwaid of Merche. She’s awful big and bouncy. She wikes to pick me up by my hair to kiss me and put I in the swing. Thankfully, I’s only falled out of the swing wunce.

When we’s exhausted by the Merche (about a ‘alf hour later) I wikes to ‘ave a good poop and a nap. Sometimes I naps on my own in the swing but mostwy I wikes to nap on Ma-kweetur. When the sun shines in me eyes I wakes up to poo again. Then I wants Maw to bounce me while I wooks at the sunlight comin through the winda and has some snacks. I’s usuawy ‘appy so wong as Ma-kweetur doesn’t try to do nothin but nurse me. I gets a bit peevish when Maw twies to play with Merche or take a shower or do her own poo. She can be a wittle selfish like dat, but I guess I wuvs her anywhoo.

When Pa gets home we usuawy goes for a walk as a famiwy. Merche wides in the fwont of the stroller so that I’s mostly pwetty safe in the back. The best part is when Maw pushes the stroller cwazy to keep Merche happy. I wikes that.

I wikes when someone sings me a wittle song to help me falls asweep. I twiddles my wong fingers on Maw whiles I nurses during dinner and most of de rest of the evening. I has wery wong fingers, everyone says so. That’s about what I wikes, Gwammaw Pookie. Mostly Maw’s boobies and poos and naps and walks and sunshine. I’s a pwetty waid back kinda guy. My one peeve in wife besides Maw using the potty is my ‘air. I can’t do nuffin wif it, Gwammaw, not nuffin. It just sticks up wike it has poo in it.

My most pwoud moment of my wife was when I wevenged myself on Pa when he twied to take my tempurtur in I’s butt. I pooed and peed all over him and the wug in the bafwoom. It musta been a pweety good joke because evewy one in the ‘ouse was waffin but Noni. It mostwy serves Pa wite for being selfith with Maw, anyways. He usuawy twies to hog her all to hisself when we goes to bed, which is wite when I needs Maw the mostest. I oughta poo on him more often but I has some pity for Noni.

Sometimes I’s mindin’ my own business and I begins to realize I’s hungry. And I suddenly wealizes I’s so hungry that I may perwith at any thecond, and I gets fwantic, Gwammaw Pookie. And if there’s thomething near by my mouth I biteth at it, twying to save I from starvation. Thometimes it’s just my dee. Sometimeth it’s my own fingers, and I sucks on them and makes woud noithes. Sometimeth it’s Merche’s finger, she’s twying to thtick into my mouf and that always tastes wery innewesting. But thometimes it’s my bwessed milk boobie and I thmells it, and I opens my mouf and wunges one way and wunges another way, and finally I catches it. Little guy though I is, I catches it, and I wives another day Gwammaw, and might wiv wong enough to see you if I can keep my wits and wunges quick.

I want’s to meet you soon, Gwamma Pookie. Don’t stay in West Wirginia too wong, O-tay? I’s feewing a stwong desire to sweep now. This corwespondence stuff is tirewing.

Wuv,

Yo grandbaby Odie Ewwiott Twuitt ‘ake

Comments are closed.